Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
