This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
