he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
