I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
