i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
