whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
