I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My breasts were aching with rage.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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