I wish you could order shots online.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
