i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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