Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
