if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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