So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
