I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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