did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
