i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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