I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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