I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
