seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
