I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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