im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
