I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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