there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
