I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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