You're completely useless in the revolution.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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