I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
