Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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