But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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