it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
