Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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