fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
