Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
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You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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