dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
