I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
