She's JV to your varsity
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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