If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
