there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
