Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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