i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
