It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
