so let's talk penis.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
