Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Sext me about skeletons
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
