Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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