Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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