there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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