Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
