I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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