dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He has the fingertips of a God
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