i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
