I hope mine doesn't look like that
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
