i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
