he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
