is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
