Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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