Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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