No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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