Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
