carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
