dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Two words: nipple clamps
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