he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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