Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I have post one night stand depression
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
