On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
