His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
