Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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