Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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