Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
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